The Jesus Freak

Well what can I say? There are a few things that I want to talk about. The first being my family starting with my sister. My sister is the lucky one in my family, most families have a lucky one. She is beautiful, smart, has the best figure, people love her and seem to float around her, she found the love of her life young and is marrying him, she doesn't need to worry about work because her fiance works in construction and earns good money and all she has to do is have fun with whatever she chooses. To say who I am I really have to include her, she is my big sister and I have always looked up to her. I have always wanted to look and be like her, and I suppose I have always been jealous. Jealous of how easy she has life, she has never had to work hard to be loved, wanted or needed I am always her sister and she is never mine, which simply means that people know who she is and will describe who I am by describing my sister "oh your Jane's sister". People know me because they know her.
My sister and I have been through a lot together, but I believe her battle with the world has ended and mine has just begun. In so many ways we are differet, in fact I can only think of two things we really share, high cheek bones and similar voices. I tried to be like my sister for so long, and now I am finally being my own person, it is hard to grow up and to learn that who I am is okay, especially when people like to stop me from feeling that way. But I need to be me because, I am nothing like my sister, and yes she is beautiful and popular, but I am head and heart strong. I am smart and know that no matter what I do, overall I want to be a writer one day and I will live through all my heartache and pain to get to where I want to be.
Next topic I want to talk about is the family that I have neglected for years. I found out that my cousin has quite a few issues, thanks to her mother (my aunt) never wanting her. I have trouble trusting men because my father didn't want my sister or I. My cousin needs to feel close to people. It is sad how our parents can screw us up. I love my mum, but I believe she didn't always do what was best for my sister and I even though she tried to. My aunt didn't try to do what was best for her daughter in fact she didn't seem to like her kids. But that doesn't make what you do right, I mean you do know what is right and wrong and even if your parents have screwed you up, you should still be able to tell the difference.
Okay so why the title The Jesus Freak well my auntie came down to visit us last night and I told her a story about someone I met at a church a few months back. As soon as she heard the word Church straight away she though Amanda believes in God, she is a church going freak, who has turned all religious and is going to force it down my throat. Some good gossip to go home with. So my auntie will go back to the little town she crawled out from and tell all my family and all her friends that I have turned into a Jesus Loving Freak so I decided because she didn't want to listen to a thing I said anymore and she wants to go home telling people that I am religious, being religious to my auntie is like worshiping the devil. I am not kidding, actually if I pulled out a ouija board and started worshiping the devil it would be less worrying to my auntie than believing in God. So what am I going to do to get back at her? Well I am going to make her super uncomfortable when I see her next. I am going to wear my mums cross and pray before I eat, and all the things that will scare her back home. I don't really mind if she spreads rumors as long as she has good cause to, so I am gonna give her something to gossip about. It sounds mean and yes my plan has been dissaproved, but she needs to learn a lesson that she shouldn't generalise people and their cultures.